Triplet Mom Connection

So, today I was scanning FB and realized that it is the anniversary of the passing of a sweet little girl named Zoe. She is a triplet and I have never met her, her sisters or her mom. However, through a national triplet group, I have known of their family since giving birth to my trio in July 2007. I have grieved with them via blog posts and e-mails and I think of their family often.

I chose to visit her memorial foundation page as a way to remember her and to see the wonderful ways her mother has found to not only pay tribute to this little warrior, but to also help so many other moms who have given birth to micro preemies (babies born before 32 weeks gestation). As I was reading all that the foundation has been up to, I wondered why I felt so connected to this, and so many other families with triplets that I have never met. Seems kind of strange to feel such a bond with people you have never seen in the flesh.

And then I read a paragraph she had written and it all became so clear to me. Many parents of triplets have walked in such similar shoes when their babies were born. It is very common for triplets to be born prior to 32 weeks and even more common for their beginnings to involve a stay in the NICU. As I read what she had written, tears started pouring down my face. It was exactly what I was feeling at the time of their birth! How could she know MY feelings so well? Here, almost 4 years and 3 healthy kids later, I am still so emotional over their birth. I guess I didn't realize how much that experience truly impacted me. And I guess I didn't realize that it is because of that experience that my bond is so strong with so many fellow triplet moms that I have never met. I am so grateful for the Internet and the chance to know these ladies. Below is the paragraph, written by Keira Sorrells on The Zoe Rose Memorial Foundation website. http://www.zoerose.org/our_story/

"Parenting a child born so early is not the rosy picture portrayed in most media descriptions of childbirth. Our children often do not cry when they are born, we don’t get to hold them or kiss them and sometimes don’t even get to see them until days after birth. We are put in recovery rooms with moms who have given birth to full-term babies while we wonder if our children are even alive. When we do see our children for the first time, they are hooked up to IVs, monitors, oxygen support, feeding tubes, and in isolettes. We are told to wear protective gowns and wash our hands and can only change their diapers every 3 or 4 hours. This is the extent of our physical contact with our new babies, often for weeks. We are told not to even speak out loud. If we have plans to breastfeed, it is often a long, arduous and frustrating task as most preemies, especially micro preemies, lack the inherent ability to suck, swallow, and breathe. Our first breastfeeding experience is usually with a breast pump. We have to ask to touch our babies, we have to ask if we can help bathe them or change their clothes or blankets. Our image of parenting and our preconceived notion that the parent-child bond is one attained through physical contact has to be altered. There is nothing like parenting a micro preemie. There is nothing like walking out of the hospital without your child, day after day, week after week, month after month. But we do it. We have to, because they are our children."

Thank you Keira for putting it into words so wonderfully! It is amazing how you captured the emotions and experiences of this time so well.