Things are tough

So, I just got done reading a post from a fellow triplet mom. I had to laugh...even though we have never met, there is a strong bond between moms of multiples. She gave me the inspiration to let it all out. So here it goes- prepare yourself, it could get a bit bumpy!
Lately, I feel overwhelmed and tired. I find myself with less patience, more frustration, and little imagination. I realized the other day that I haven't slept through the night since late October. After a while, this can really take a toll. I don't really venture out with the kids anymore...I often take about 30min. weighing the effort to get them ready with how much I actually want to go -often I don't want to go that bad! I find the TV on WAY more than I ever wanted or expected it would be on. Just like my fellow trip mom, meals are getting less nutritious and easier to fix. Playtime consists of me sending the kids off while I run around trying to straighten, wipe, vacuum, sweep or breastfeed.
I think that the the first 2 years were full of the magic that is triplets and now, the magic has gone and the reality is hitting- hard! We have triplets! Having three 2 1/2 year old toddlers is hard. I won't always have it together and no one, other than me actually expects that. Organization is not going to be the same, nor hold the same level of priority as it once did. I need to give myself, and John for that matter, a little slack. If the clean laundry stays in a basket, that's okay. If the basement doesn't get picked up, that's okay. I need to forgive myself when I loose my temper and ask God to help me everyday. Raising kids is hard...raising triplets is really hard! It is not like having one kid no matter how hard we try to pretend. They are three different people and need to be parented in three different ways. That in itself is a huge challenge!
I think that saying this out loud (even in a post) is therapeutic and helpful. It allows me to share my feelings with myself and when I feel overwhelmed, I can read this. So, each day, I am going to try to live by what is destined to become my new favorite quote.
“I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there is no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.” Charles Swindoll
Even as I finish with this post I think back to this week. I had a very monumental moment this week. I ventured out with all the kids by myself! I started going back to my moms group on Wed. mornings which means getting all 4 kids up,changing diapers, getting dressed,making breakfast,feeding them all (including breastfed and pumped), shoes on, coats on, hair combed (styled for my little Emmi), getting myself showered and ready, perhaps a bite to eat and cup of coffee to go for myself, and everyone in the car, buckled in their car seats, ALL by 8:45am! And...I did it!!!! Well, by 9:00, but I'll take it! Then, after mom's group, I took all 4 kids to the play center at the mall while we waited for daddy to come and meet us for lunch. There I managed to walk all 4 in with just a double stroller, change diapers and pull-ups and I didn't loose my temper once! It was a great day! A day that I will flash to anytime I think I just can't take them all on by myself. It was a day I really needed. It has been a fear of mine since I knew Isabelle was on the way. How in the world would I ever manage to go anywhere by myself again? Well, I did it and it went well. Thank you God- I know You where there- giving me strength and patience.
Things are tough. And there is no sign of them getting any easier in the near future, so I vent, and move forward. I will celebrate the successes and forgive the failures. Tomorrow is a new day!